sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
