I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
