I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
