You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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