Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
