its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
