I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im holly from the hills drunk
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
