is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
