She announced her abortion via fbk
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
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