I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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