I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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