I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
