I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
