if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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