Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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