If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?