Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world