Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
