haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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