so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
