maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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