This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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