I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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