Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
