in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is it because I queefed?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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