it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
