the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She's the barista slut.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize