He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
