singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
