Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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