Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the day after is always just damage control
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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