My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I checked into jail on foursquare
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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