Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
