everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
