we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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