She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
being pregnant is like rehab
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
