I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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