i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
