I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
