my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize