Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am spending my child support on dildos
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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