Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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