her vagine was all disorganized.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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