Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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