doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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