they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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