I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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