was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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