that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
These tits shall not be calmed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
