He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
