Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
