Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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