jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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