Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize