Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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