So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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