Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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