I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
