Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
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Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
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When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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