After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
