I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
