i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
