He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
