guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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