So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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