I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
